High School Formals

Friend Wars

05 December 2011 by admin in Homepage, Latest, Uncategorized

By Kate

You and your friends have probably spent the past year planning your formal together—shopping for dresses, deciding on hairstyles, talking about your dates. But all friendships have their ups and downs, and what happens if it comes to the big night and you find that you and your bestie suddenly aren't speaking?

The school formal is a stressful time for everyone, and with exams and graduation on the way the last thing you want to worry about is avoiding your friend all night. The best approach is to try and sort it out before the big event—heartfelt conversations on the dance floor are all very well, but you want to start the evening feeling happy and confident. Give her a call a few days beforehand, or take her aside at school (don't let your other friends get involved, so make sure there isn't an audience). If it's a group of people you're fighting with, try getting some one-on-one time with each of them–sorting out your differences with one person is a lot easier than tackling three or four at once. Don't use email, sms or Facebook to attempt to patch things up—text messages sometimes have a way of being misread, and it will be more meaningful if your friend can hear your voice.

The most important thing is to be honest. Tell your friend how you feel and how much the friendship means to you. Stay calm, open and non-judgmental, but also explain how you've been hurt. Try not to accuse her of anything and accept responsibility for your part in the fight. If you've done something wrong, apologise. At the same time, if your friend says she's sorry for something she's done, be ready to forgive. By acknowledging the mistakes each of you has made and focusing on what you can now do to improve your friendship, you'll be able to move forward, and have a great night together!

If you can't remember what the fight was even about (let's face it, this is often the case) then just ask. Usually conflicts start over something small which blows up as each person becomes defensive. It may be that there's been a simple misunderstanding somewhere in the past which can be easily resolved through talking about it. Remember, you were once friends for a reason, and you might regret it if you don't try to sort it all out. She's probably been feeling as awful as you about the situation, and will appreciate you being brave and taking the first step.

If she's not quite ready to make up then that's ok, at least she'll know how you feel. If it seems like something that's never going to be resolved, then it might be time to say goodbye to this friendship and move on. If that's the case, be polite and friendly during the night, but don't spend all your time worrying about it. Just focus on having fun with the rest of your friends!