We’ve all heard of Prom King and Queen, but if you don’t have a dazzling smile and perfectly chiselled features, what hope is there of walking away with a crown on formal night? Plenty, if you consider handing out some of these awards instead:
Einstein Award: For the genius that walks among us, the one who tops all the classes and will be receiving invites from MENSA as soon as the year is done.
Most Likely To Get Away With Murder: You know the one – that student so innately charming teachers tend to turn a blind eye when she walks into class late and cheats during tests.
The Captain Planet Award: Given to the student most likely to save the world, whether it be through their leadership skills, dynamic ideas, or general dogooderness.
Best Dad Jokes: Forget the class clown, we’re talking seriously lame humour. Awarded to the student with the poorest impersonations, cringe-worthy jokes, and worst puns on campus.
Best Edward Cullen Impersonation – Awarded to the year’s most dedicated Emo (the one who is probably hanging out at the back of the formal, trying to watch the award ceremony from beneath a neverending fringe).
The “Oh No He Didn’t” Award: Given out to the student whose in-class antics and back-chat enraged your teachers, and shocked (and secretly delighted) fellow students.
Gossip Girl: Awarded to the student with her finger on the pulse of the student social scene – the go-to girl for all the inside information, who spends more time texting and updating Facebook than taking notes.
Miss Congeniality: Awarded to the all-singing, all-dancing, golden ray of sunshine who is most likely to wish for world peace, or join the cast of Glee.
Batman and Robin Award: Forget the cutest couple, this award goes to the dynamic duo whose bromance has warmed hearts campus-wide.
Most Likely To Get Their Own Reality TV Show: For the drama queen whose OTT antics are forever entertaining her classmates. Whether it’s a face-off with her best friend, a very public break-up, or a meltdown over not being voted Best Dressed, somebody should be filming it.
MIA Award: Given to the most successful wagger – Lord of the Sick Days, Unable-To-Be-Cancelled Appointments, and all those times just spent skulking about behind the science block.
The Nice Guys Don’t Always Finish Last Award: Given out to that boy who holds open the door in English, lends you his last pen, and always lets you copy his notes.
Best Joey and Dawson Angst-fest: For the “just friends, we swear” couple who has kept the rest of the grade in constant discussion of will they/won’t they?
Biggest ego: Awarded to the student who has difficulty fitting his head through the door (no need to worry about him taking offence to the nomination, he’ll just be pleased he’s mentioned).
Most Likely to Not Remember the Formal: Given to the grade’s biggest party animal, whose invite list you always want to be on (and who probably won’t remember final exams, graduation, or schoolies week either).
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